Merc 7-Giov 8 novembre 2007 III° e IV° Giorno di ricovero

Dire di essersi ambientati in un posto simile è una bugia, più che una speranza… Mercoledì sera sono stata vittima di qualcosa a me sconosciuto e purtroppo incontrollabile… un vero attacco di claustrofobia… un attacco di panico. Stavo guardando la televisione quando ho sentito chiudersi le orecchie, sudorini freddi imperlare la mia fronte e la sensazione sgradevolissima che il buio aumentasse e la stanza rimpicciolisse. Allora ho acceso la luce, mi sono spogliata rimanendo in maniche corte (supponevo ci fosse un guasto all’impianto di riscaldamento già difettoso) e ho iniziato a passeggiare per la stanza, quasi per riappropriarmi di quei metri quadri che sembravano svaniti. Niente sembrava darmi sollievo, nemmeno lo spray per l’asma e l’inquietudine, l’ansia salivano. Non volevo suonare il campanello perché temevo che mi potessero prendere per pazza, ma alla fine mi sono detta che forse quel regime di isolamento e di solitudine potesse provocare un qualche disagio. Poche gocce di En e qualche parola scambiata con l’infermiera di turno hanno fatto placare tutte le sensazioni provate e sono riuscita a riposare nonostante un residuo senso di paura.
Il giovedì mattina i medici erano stati avvisati dell’accaduto e mi hanno detto che viviamo una situazione talmente anomala che tali episodi non sono rari e anzi tanti pazienti, anche se non in isolamento, chiedono le gocce tutte le sere o quando ne sentono la necessità.
Una cosa così pensavo che ad una persona razionale come me non potesse mai accadere o di essere per lo meno in grado di controllarla… mi sbagliavo di grosso…come tante altre volte è accaduto nella mia vita.
E intanto la mole di esami quotidiani: prelievi mattutini, rx torace e visite di controllo continuano in attesa dell’inizio del condizionamento…
Chi l’ha detto poi che all’ospedale ci si annoia? Da mercoledì mi hanno assegnato i compiti da svolgere quotidianamente. Sul comodino ho un foglio dove appuntare la quantità di liquidi bevuti in ml, la febbre misurata tre volte al giorno, il numero di evacuazioni, il peso pre e post diuretici e devo anche piaccare le urine tre volte il giorno. Già… un lavoro con questo lasix… faccio più chilometri andando su e giù dal bagno che se fare dieci minuti sulla cyclette. E se si considera che devo muovermi legata a due tubicini lunghi cinque metri che mi tengono legata all’albero di Natale nella zona filtro… è veramente dura non aggrovigliarsi tutta e ritrovarsi stritolata nella loro spire!!!!
E intanto il mio albero fuori cresce… sacche da un litro di liquidi, diuretici, antibiotici, antivirali, antifungini, protettori gastrici, antielmintici e chi più ne ha più ne metta! Non c’è che dire, un bel cocktail davvero!

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46 thoughts on “Merc 7-Giov 8 novembre 2007 III° e IV° Giorno di ricovero

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