Orgogliosa di essere come sono

Orgogliosa io? Ma quando mai?!?! Chi mi conosce sa che non mi sono mai sentita orgogliosa di me stessa. In me è sempre mancato quel quid di sicurezza in più che mi facesse essere contenta di ciò che ho ottenuto, probabilmente perché inferiore a ciò che in realtà avrei sempre desiderato ottenere a causa della mia ambizione e testardaggine. In questi ultimi giorni però è accaduto qualcosa che mi ha fatto dubitare del mio sentirmi sempre l’ultima ruota del carro e in passato nemmeno la psicologa è mai riuscita a farmi capire che così non è. Sono stata chiamata per una supplenza in una scuola media… Ho accettato vista la precarietà economica in cui mi trovo e anche per verificare se un tale ruolo potesse essermi consono. Ho sempre scartato l’idea di insegnare per rincorrere il mio sogno di essere un topo di laboratorio… Insito nel mio DNA fino dalla tenera età! D’altro canto, per arrotondare, ho sempre fatto ripetizioni e con buoni risultati. La preside, al telefono, ha fatto vacillare subito la mia sicurezza ma, orgogliosa come sono, ho accettato la sfida e giovedì scorso sono entrata in classe. Che emozione essere chiamata Prof!!! Che emozione vedere i ragazzi pendere dalle tue labbra perché per loro significhi imparare! Che emozione vederli tirare su le mani per chiedere qualunque cosa o per voler rispondere! Mi hanno da subito riempito il cuore e mi sono commossa al pensiero di poter dare loro un po’ di me stessa… Amo i bambini, amo i ragazzi… E forse sono diventata subito quella mamma che non posso essere. Non so quanto durerà quest’esperienza ma la affronterò col cuore pieno di gioia! Dopo soli due giorni di lezione una bimba ha alzato la mano e mi ha chiesto se rimarrò per sempre… E a lei si sono accodati i suoi compagni… E stessa cosa nelle altre due classi… Eppure non ho fatto niente di clamoroso!!! Anzi, li devo tartassare perché sono indietro e quelli di terza dovranno affrontare l’esame senza sapere niente! Lunedì poi mi si è avvicinata la Prof.ssa di lettere e mi dice:”Ma dove eri fino ad ora? Ce ne fossero persone come te! Grazie per essere arrivata!”. Sono rimasta impietrita senza riuscire a rispondere! E non è stata la sola, anche la coordinatrice ha apprezzato il fatto che abbia subito iniziato a far recuperare il tempo perso ai ragazzi. Ieri infine il primo consiglio di classe e la mia presentazione ai rappresentanti dei genitori che, con sorrisi enormi, hanno espresso la gioia dei loro ragazzi e il loro entusiasmo nei miei confronti! Che dire??? In pochi giorni mi hanno fatto una flebo di autostima che mi frastorna!!! Fisicamente per me sarà una sfida immane perché la sede è a un’ora di strada e sulla Montagna pistoiese… E dovrò portare avanti anche l’attività in laboratorio, fare le terapie, le visite, cantare, aiutare in Admo senza trascurare Vale e i nostri mici. Solo l’entusiasmo verso i ragazzi mi permetterà di farcela!!! E anche finalmente il sentirsi un po’ orgogliosa di riuscire in qualche modo ad essere un buon referente per loro! ❤️❤️❤️

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36 thoughts on “Orgogliosa di essere come sono

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