Solita sveglia alle sei… ma la tensione era nuova. Oggi è iniziato il condizionamento con schema Allo-BuCy con ATG: Busulfano 52mg i giorni 8°, 9°, 10° e 11°, Ciclofosfamide 780mg i giorni 10° e 11° e profilassi per GvHD con Methotrexate 25mg il giorno 16° e 15mg il giorno 18°. Il condizionamento serve per distruggere tutto o la maggior parte del mio midollo malato prima di reinfondere il nuovo midollo. In seguito ciclosporina. Si sono già aggiunte altre boccette al mio albero di Natale e sono così tante che due pompe automatiche non bastavano più per controllare il flusso di tutti i liquidi immessi e ne hanno aggiunta una terza. Come faranno a non confondersi con tutte quelle boccette?
La cosa più inquietante è stato vedere appendere alla porta e all’armadio dei cambi nell’anticamera il cartello con la scritta, per fortuna colorata, “Attenzione, protocollo sterile”. Ciò avrebbe significato essere ancora più sola e vulnerabile. E questo i medici me lo hanno subito fatto presente perché avrebbero dovuto evitare di portare qualsiasi tipo di microbi nella stanza. Medici e infermieri sarebbero dovuti entrare tutti bardati con cuffietta, mascherina, camice e sovrascarpe e dopo essersi lavati le mani. Ovviamente hanno fatto presente di chiamare ogni qualvolta avessi un qualche sintomo.
Finalmente ho ricevuto le visite del pino e di Valerio e nessuno può immaginare la gioia di poter parlare con chi ami dopo giorni di sole telefonate. Mi hanno sì dato un pc della corsia ma non sempre si connette e questo mi destabilizza… mi sento segregata. Mina non stava ancora del tutto bene e ha preferito aspettare un altro po’ per non nuocermi. Nell’attimo in cui ho visto entrare il pino e poi il mio bimbus in giorni diversi, i miei occhi si sono riempiti di lacrime come una bimbetta…che strana sensazione dover fare i conti con una mia nuova e alterata sensibilità!!! Anche loro per entrare si sono dovuti sottoporre obbligatoriamente al rituale della vestizione. Nell’armadio dell’anticamera, oltre ai miei venti cambi sterilizzati, sono alloggiati anche i loro cinque pigiami sterili… Oltre al pigiama però sono costretti a indossare sovrascarpe, càmice, mascherina e cuffietta e costretti a sopportare bardati così il caldo presente nella stanza. Figuriamoci dover respirare attraverso la mascherina per qualche ora!!! Fortunatamente possono stare con me dalle 14 alle 21, solo uno per giornata, per aiutarmi psicologicamente ad affrontare questa sfida. Sono i privilegi della camera sterile!!! E per fortuna!!!
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